Thursday, April 8, 2010


The Common Man returned from a night of general amusement and debauchery. While TCM put The Boy to sleep, The Uncommon Wife passed out in bed, and TCM was left alone. Naturally, he wandered downstairs to watch the last 5 innings of the Twins game when…


Where are the Twins? They aren’t on TV? Wait, TCM is talking to his friends on the internet. They get to watch the game, either because they are in the Twins’ market or because they have MLB.TV. No less important a figure than ESPN’s Rob Neyer tweeted, “Wait a minute .... Twins and Angels aren't on TV? What sort of world are we living in, where I can't watch whatever I want???”

While The Common Man pays $200 a year (sorry, $199.96) to get to watch his Twins. Sure, he wants to watch the other teams, but the fact is that if the Twins were not part of the Extra Innings package, there’s no way TCM would pay for the service. The Common Man is certain that devoted fans of other teams feel similarly. However, for some reason, tonight’s Twins-Angels tilt is not included in the Extra Innings offerings. However, he’s able to catch highlights on ESPN’s Baseball Tonight. So someone is freaking filming the game. Hell, fucking Dick and Bert are there, and are providing the inane commentary for which they are famous. But The Common Man can’t get none.

Meanwhile, TCM’s smarter online friends have paid $120 (and some of the just $20) for MLB.TV, but get to see the games that TCM is missing for paying up to $180 more. Seriously, what the fuck, Bud Selig? Why is The Common Man not getting to watch his Twins? TCM thought we had a deal. You get TCM’s hard-earned money. You give him the non-blackout (whose rules TCM is glad you finally got around to changing) games he paid to watch. How is the 4th game of the year not on the list of fucking approved games, Bud Selig? WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER ME??????????

OK, breathe. Sorry, TCM didn’t mean to break into the 1st person. This is just traumatic. Listen, Major League Baseball, The Common Man demands that you refund him the money for this game that you, for inexplicable reasons, decided not to broadcast. You and The Common Man had an agreement, and you reneged. $200/162 games=$1.234 per game. Therefore, TCM demands that you remit $1.23 for the game and $.02 for pain and suffering to The Common Man’s DirecTV account, or write him a check for that amount and send it to him. The Common Man will happily publicize your efforts to make this situation right. Please email The Common Man (TCM’s email is immediately to the right on your screen there).

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