Hey Colby, Your Wife Called, She Said It's a Girl and To Pitch Magglio Down-and-Away

By The Common Man

The Common Man is going to try very hard to write this post without using the “You’re not a parent, so you don’t understand,” card. That card is incredibly easy to play, of course, but it’s just as unfair. Because how is someone going to argue with that? And, in playing it, you’re casting a moral judgment against someone who has probably chosen to not become a parent. And if they made that choice, because they knew they would not be a good parent, or simply didn’t have any feelings one way or the other, they chose correctly. It also does a disservice to all the non-parents out there who are inclined to think that becoming a parent is a pretty damn important thing.  And it does a disservice to all the excellent step-parents out there.


But Colby Lewis did, apparently, make the choice to be a parent, and by luck or design his second daughter was due right at the start of the 2011 season. This created a conflict, as it became apparent that Lewis would have to skip his start last Wednesday to accommodate the birth.

Book Review: The Road

With the country resting safely in the hands of the man with the plan, and with almost nothing happening in the sports world, The Common Man is finally getting around to reviewing Cormac McCarthy's Pulitzer Prize winning book, The Road (he finished it over two days around Christmas.

The book follows a father and a son (neither are given names) as they make their way across a post-apocolyptic United States. The land around them is burned and barren, and stripped of almost anything edible. Painfully aware that they are starving to death and cannot last another winter (the temperature has dropped dramatically as the result of some cateclysm that has left the land poisoned, the sky clouded, and ash everywhere), the pair heads vaguely south and east, trying to reach the sea. Along the way they starve, meet hostile survivors, and simply try to perservere, pushing their shopping cart of belongings down the road, through the snow, and across what's left of the country.


McCarthy's novel is terrible and sad, but full of individual moments of triumph that transcend the horrible reality in which the father and son find themselves. Their joy, particularly in the face of the overwhelming brutality of their new America, is infectious, and well rendered. And despite not telling his readers much about the bleak near-future he has imagined, McCarthy creates a realistic vision of a dying world and its people.


The novel is even darker than his previous novel, No Country For Old Men (reviewed here), but less fatalistic. The father and son tell themselves that they "carry the flame" of humanity, that their moral actions prove that humanity's goodness is not entirely gone. And the father's central goal, to keep his boy safe, proves that, despite the depravity around them, their hope for the future is still intact.

The other truly remarkable aspect of McCarthy's book is the relationship he draws between the father and son. McCarthy's story, above all, is the story of this father's enduring love for his boy, and his determination to see him safe. The father is constantly teaching the boy, preparing him for a day when his father will not be there. And really, that is the essence of fatherhood. Regardless of how far-fetched McCarthy's setting may seem to you, that love and that relationship is universal, as is the desire to pass on the flame. After all, why else would people decide to have children if not to pass on the flame. As the heart around this novel is based, it is a moving relationship that every father and mother can connect to, and every child should appreciate.

The Road is a very powerful read, and you can do it quickly. The characters speak in short, simple dialogue, there are almost no long passages. Just miles and miles and miles of walking and talking. And while it's the most grueling walk you'll take all year, it's also the best and most rewarding (far better than actual exercise). The Common Man is excited for the film version, which will presumably be released this fall.

Working the Bilge

The Common Man's longstanding position on the war in Iraq is a blanket "you break it, you buy it" policy. As a nation, the UnitedStates chose to elect George Bush in 2000 (please, The Common Man doesn't want to hear about Florida, regardless of how valid your complaints may or may not be. Rutherford B. Hayes won the 1876 election in the House of Representatives by promising to end Reconstruction. John Kennedy won in 1960 (in part) because of rampant voter fraud.) and to reelect him in 2004. He (and his advisers), using the authority the American people gave him, invaded Iraq in 2003. Anything that President Bush did or ordered done, any failure by the Commander-in-Chief is shared, in part, by the populace that elected him (and that chooses to live in a political system that elected him. And so, in essence, the Iraq folly can be traced back directly to the American voters, and they need to bear responsibility for that.

So, while The Common Man doesn't like the war and how that war impeded and impedes the U.S.'s ability to fight in Afghanistan, the U.S. has a moral commitment to maintain a significant presence in Iraq until that nation is secure enough to stand on its own, and not crumble from attacks from within and without. The U.S. broke down the system that held the country together, it has an obligation to stay there until a new framework will hold (and will guarantee freedoms for its citizens). Whoever is elected president, The Common Man feels confident that a stark, unfiltered, and realistic assessment of the Iraq situation with generals on the ground in that country will be the deciding factor as to what the U.S. role is from here on out. The desire to protect America's international integrity and reputation in future foreign relations and international actions will trump any and all campaign promises. So while it's good to have a plan to offer potential solutions, it's important that the candidates be flexible to the reality of Iraq and mindful of the commitments the U.S has made, and the responsibilities it bears.

When The Common Man tries to apply the same principle to the recently proposed mortgage bailout, he has mixed feelings. The Common Man strongly believes that individual entities need to endure the consequences for their actions. When you bet on red, and the roulette wheel stops on black, you shouldn't get to get your chips back just because you bet your rent check. Institutions should not be rewarded for their irresponsibility.



The Common Man is also struck by how angry the situation makes him, and how, impulsively, he wants to see these Wall Street types suffer for the mess they made. It's part of a collective schadenfreude that The Common Man is starting to see among normal Americans who just want to punish the guilty and feel better again about their country and their prospects. As though the collapse of a major financial institution and the layoff of all of its employees will somehow make their lives better. The Common Man definitely sympathizes with that viewpoint.

But does that mean that the U.S. should simply let these companies fail? Not necessarily. Think about this crisis from a father's perspective. When your child misbehaves, and engages in risky behavior, parents will often let their child suffer the consequences of their actions, if those consequences are minor. The Common Man, for instance, will allow The Boy to climb up on a footstool, or swing on the big kid swings, or climb the ladder to his treehouse. If he falls, he will be scared, and may have a bruise. He'll cry because he's not even two years old yet. But he'll learn. And The Common Man is there to make sure that nothing too serious befalls him and to catch him if it looks like he's in real danger.

However, just because The Common Man wants his son to learn a lesson about taking care and being thoughtful about his actions, doesn't mean The Common Man wants The Boy to run into the street or to ride his little car down the stairs or stick a paper clip in the light socket. That kind of behavior carries with it unacceptable risk of permanent, life-altering damage. Sure, if he survives he has learned a valuable lesson, but c'mon...

Anyway, when you look at the current bailout of mortgage market, try to look at it from a father's perspective. Yes, you want these companies to learn a valuable lesson about their actions. And you want them to never do something this stupid and risky again. But you (presumably) don't want them to wind up permanently disfigured or dead if their role in the larger economy is such that the economy is better off with them in it.

In that light, several of the proposals in the bailout package being offered by the federal government make sense. CEOs who condoned (or who stood by while others condoned) this behavior should not get to profit from their resignations. The companies themselves should not escape in better shape than they were in before they started these irresponsible lending practices. They should have to bear some of the losses, and should have to pay for the privilege of being bailed out. U.S. taxpayers should be on the hook for as little of the bailout as possible, and the government should be allowed to benefit from any future profit from these companies until its investment is paid off.

In America, it's a cliche to say that the punishment should fit the crime. But having a strong and meaningful punishment that will deter future bad behavior (the real goal of fatherly discipline) does not require the deaths of American financial institutions. Instead, the U.S. government needs to implement policies that force companies like Bear Stearns and AIG and Lehman Brothers to reap consequences for their actions and take responsibility for what they've done, while providing them a way forward into a better, more socially and economically responsible means of doing business, while continuing to provide the proper oversight and guidance that any good father would give his child. And it sounds as though that's what Congress is trying to do. The Common Man hopes so.