Phinally Phinished

The Common Man is man enough to admit when he's wrong (though not man enough to admit when he's lost driving through rural northern Wisconsin at 10:30 at night). So he would like to heartily congratulate the Philadelphia Phillies and their fans in the wake of their stunningly decisive World Series Championship over the Tampa Bay Rays. The Phillies were calm and commanding throughout the series, while the Rays looked young, panicky, and over-eager. Like The Common Man's cat, the Phillies played with their mouse, letting it stay in each game, convincing it they could escape, only to make them whiff on another changeupon the outside corner.

For the record, The Common Man's predictions, other than the onewhere he chose the winner, look pretty good. The running game was about equal, with both teams stealing 7 bases, getting caught once, and picked off once. Jamie Moyer pitched a solid ball game. Hamels won both his starts. And Ryan Howard hit .286/.375/.762 with 3 homers and 6 RBI.

Sadly, the Series was not a rousing success. It was sloppy, seemed one-sided despite 4 close games out of 5, sported terrible umpiring, and had a debacle of a game 5, which was first played in a monsoon and then suspended for 48 hours. Pundits have gone over the top, however, in their condemnation of it. Dean of baseball reporters, Peter Gammons posited that, "There are a lot of questions that will be weighed after this, the worst World Series in memory" and ESPN touted it as the "worst ever."

Frankly, that's ridiculous. Maybe it was a little sloppy and one-sided (11 errors in 5 games, 2 pick offs, baserunning mistakes). In 2007, the Red Sox swept the Rockies and outscored them 29-10; there was virtually no drama in that series. In 2006, the 82-80 Cardinals beat the Tigers in five games, in a series featured 12 errors. The Red Sox swept the Cardinals in 2004 despite committing 8 errors in the first 2 games. In fact, the losing team hasn't won 2 games in a World Series since 2003. We've been seeing one-sided series for half a decade now, many of them sloppy. And other World Series have been halted in the middle. Famously, the 1989 Series was postponed for a week following the San Francisco earthquake. And several other games have either been rained out or suspended.

Frankly, the only criteria that should matter for a World Series are the drama it produces and the quality of the baseball played. In that regard, the 2008 World Series did ok. Not great, but ok. Though he's sure everyone in Philly enjoyed it immensely.


And one programming note: The Common Man realizes that things have been very sports-heavy around here lately. He's looking forward to once again branching out a little starting tomorrow.

Does Anyone Care Anymore?

Last night, Game 5 of the World Series was postponed again, so The Common Man did some channel surfing. On TNT, he was surprised to discover that the NBA season kicked off. Who knew?

Frankly, The Common Man couldn't care less. The Common Man has only so much room in his head for sports, and that space is disproportionately dominated by baseball and to a lesser extent football. The rest of his brain (roughly 3%) is dedicated to The Simpsons and his family. So he's chosen to only take passing interest in the game, just enough to notice who wins the title, whether LeBron or D-Wade are Michael Jordan reincarnate, and whether the Wolves win more than 20 games.

But since they're going to the trouble of playing the games, The Common Man may as well make a few half-assed predictions for the coming season.

1) Everybody will make the playoffs.

Recognizing the frustration that comes from following a team for 82 games, even though they were eliminated from contention in game 6 and tanked the rest of the way to have a better shot at the #1 pick, is turning off potential fans in an economically troubled time, David Stern has made a move to address the matter, and has announced that this year, everyone makes the playoffs. For example, Stern is hoping that the enthusiasm of the (16) Charlotte Bobcats fans at getting to face the defending champion Spurs in round 1 will be enough to keep the franchise afloat until the economy recovers, since playoff tickets are more expensive and sought after.

2) You will laugh at baller-on-baller violence.

Basketball players, as a rule, think they're hard. That they're tough. And when they feel slighted by a chippy European small forward, they get their mad faces on and start swinging. But, because today's NBAers are so freakishly tall, they could not function normally in American society anywhere but on the basketball court. And when they try to do anything non-basketball related (drive a car, answer the phone, hit a dude) they look like a gangly, awkward mess. What's more, because they were catered to by their adoring fans all their lives, they never learned how to properly deck a guy. So they swing wildly, barely connecting, their punches landing beyond their opponents head, and they look like sissies. Someone's jersey gets pulled off. And eventually, Jeff van Gundy always ends up around somebody's leg. It's embarrassing for the players, but comedy gold for you. Enjoy.

3) White, unathletic (read: bad) players will continue to be called "sparkplugs" and "energy guys," and announcers will praise them for "out-hustling their black opponents.

This happens in virtually every sport. White athletes are given some kind of extra credit for being able to hang with African-American competitors. Guys like Mark Madsen and Brian Scalabrine are given ridiculous contracts to play 8 minutes a game, track down one loose ball, miss two shots, grab a couple of rebounds, and make three fouls. And for this, they are called "gamers" for "succeeding" despite their physical limitations. Meanwhile, Craig Smith of the T-Wolves averages 9 and 5 despite getting just 20 minutes a night and being only 6'7" and a power forward, and no one pays any attention. The Common Man isn't saying these announcers are racist per se, but the latent racism behind how players are judged is prevelent throughout sports.

4) The words "NBA player," "incident," and "strip club" will all be included in at least one article on ESPN.com this season.

There are few certainties in life. But one of them is this: athletes in general, and especially basketball players, love the strip club when they're on the road. And when they are there at 3:30 in the morning, as one or more of them undoubtedly will be, nothing good is going to come of it. Just remember this paragraph when it happens. And always remember that nothing good has ever happened between the hours of 3 and 6 AM. That's a good time to be asleep and out of harm's way.

5) Instead of watching the NBA Finals, you will go outside, sit on your deck, enjoy a drink and the sunshine.

Typically, the NBA season ends in mid-April, but its finals don't get done until the end of June. Why? Because it takes a long freaking time to whittle 16 (note: that's more than half the league) teams down that far. Indeed, by the time the playoffs end and the champion is crowned, the regular season is a distant memory. One could argue it barely matters at all. And by the time the league finishes up, the weather is nice and the sun sets late. Who in their right mind would be inside watching basketball when you could drink a pitcher of margaritas in the warm evening air?

Rainy Days and Mondays...

Once again, the World Series is delayed by rain. This time around, they got the game going but were forced to suspend it in the 6th because, for some reason, the umpires didn't want to use scuba gear to keep going. And the home plate ump left his prescription goggles at home (ohhh, snap!). So the game has been suspended. This gives the Tampa Bay Rays a one-day reprieve, and The Common Man something to watch tomorrow afternoon when he should really be working.

What struck The Common Man the most, as he watched the Philadelphia's infield turn into a Slip and Slide track, was how dirty B.J. Upton's uniform got in the top of the 6th. Indeed, when water hits the clay and dirt of the infield, the result is a cement-ish, paint-like goop that clings to any surface. And when Upton skidded into second-base like he was waterskiing, his pants ended up caked with bright brown ick.

It's not every baseball fan that's going to notice these things, but The Common Man was fortunate to spend two summers as a clubhouse manager for a minor league team. All The Common Man could think when he saw Upton's pants was "that's gonna be damn near impossible to get out." It's a strange perspective to have as a sports fan, The Common Man thinks, to allow laundry analysis to shape one's thoughts and impressions of historic action on the field of play.

Yet, this is what being a clubhouse manager hath wrought. The Common Man watches Upton slide and flashes back to early mornings on the day after a road trip and finding bags and bags of muddy, damp, smelly uniforms, taken off the team bus and dumped unceremoniously on the floor. Wondering just how many times he'd have to run them through the inadequate washing-machine to get them the gleaming white or stark gray that The Common Man's bosses expected. Often, he'd be at it for 4-5 hours before all the laundry was done on those days, taking a brush to the stains and scrubbing with all his might.


It was terribly frustrating, difficult work. But frankly, The Common Man enjoyed it. The job (even the laundry aspect) deepened his love, appreciation, and knowledge of the game and made him even more eager to stay up until 1 AM, watching a game end. And it helped him understand the amazingly complex and substantial network of people who support ballplayers and who never get noticed. So tonight, The Common Man salutes those real men who don't mind washing a bunch of jocks jocks, who make and lay out a banquet both before and after each game, who clean and shine every damn shoe. Here's to you boys, though tonight The Common Man is glad that, he won't be the one up until 1 AM making sure Upton's pants are ready to go tomorrow.

Beacon of Manhood: Jamie Moyer

Well, The Common Man's successful viewing experience last night, brought about by Penn State's first win at Ohio State in 15 years and plenty of time to watch Game 3 of the World Series, was improved tremendously by watching 45 year old (he'll be 46 next month) Jamie Moyer baffle Tampa Bay Rays hitters for 6.1 innings. Moyer, despite coming up ridiculously short in his previous start, bounced back against the young and hungry Rays, taming hitters less than half his age. Moyer limited the Rays to just 5 hits and 3 runs, and striking out five (including 23 year old BJ Upton once, and 22 year old uber-rookie Evan Longoria twice). He wasn't perfect, but like the cagey and wily old man that he is he kept his team in the game and far exceeded expectations.

Baseball is a funny game. As in life, the race doesn't always go to the swift or the fight to the strong. Sometimes, indeed often in baseball, gutty and smart performers can outstrip even the most skilled and gifted opponents. And when that happens, baseball is infinitely more fun to watch. Being privileged enough to watch Nolan Ryan reel off no-hitters long into his forties, or see Rickey Henderson in his 5th comeback coax out his eleventy billionth walk off a 20 year old phenom, or Jamie Moyer, throwing changeup after changeup in his first World Series in a 22 year career.

For his impressive work and his impressive age (and because no one else seemed particularly inspiring this week), The Common Man awards Moyer this week's Beacon of Manhood. The Common Man hopes to be just as successful, grizzled, and impressive when he's 46. The Common Man doesn't much mind being wrong in his predictions his prescience is thwarted by an awesome story and an ideal example of masculine manliness.

The Match Game

Last night, the Phillies and Rays proved that, even if the Yankees or Red Sox don't make the World Series, good baseball trumps stupid media-generated storylines. In a tight and thrilling 3-2 win, the Phillies took a big step toward upsetting the young and talented Rays, behind the strong left arm of Cole Hamels and the powerful bat of Chase Utley.

So what's changed? Really not much. Hamels still needs to win his next start, because Myers/Moyer/Blanton are not going to win 3 of their 5 starts. This is where, as The Founding Father pointed out last night, Ryan Howard needs to start beating up on the Rays' right handed starters, and stop flailing at breaking balls in the dirt.

With that in mind, The Common Man wants to take a look at some of the other matchups that will prove important to watch in the next 3-6 games:

1) Dioneer Navarro vs. Phillies, Carlos Ruiz vs. Rays

As you saw last night, both the Rays and Phillies like to run and are generally successful. The Phillies stole 136 bases during the regular season and were only caught 25 times (47-3 for Jimmy Rollins alone, and 20-1 for Jayson Werth). That was good for 3rd in the NL, and only 5 off the leaders, and their stealing percentage was by far the best in the league. The Rays led the AL with 142 SB (including 44 by CF BJ Upton), but with a far lower success rate. It will be imperative for these catchers to limit the running game as much as possible, particularly in games like last night's, where one run's importance is magnified so greatly. Navarro threw out 38% of basestealers this year, and Ruiz threw out 25%.

2) Jaimie Moyer vs. Father Time

Jaimie Moyer is something of a marvel. At 45 years old, easily the oldest player in the majors, he's enjoying his best season since 2003. He has lasted 22 seasons in the bigs, almost all of them as a soft-tossing, control artist who has succeeded by upsetting hitters' timing and being left-handed. Despite not really establishing himself until he was 30 (including spending all of 1992, his age 29 season, in the minors), Moyer has won 246 games, been an all star, and pitched in four postseasons. That said, it was clear against the Dodgers that Moyer didn't have an answer for good right-handed hitters. Given BJ Upton's tremendous postseason, Jason Bartlett's proclivity for hitting lefties (.379/.411/.508), and Evan Longoria's all around awesomeness, there a good chance that Moyer's pitched his last effective game of 2008. And at 45, there's a good chance that Moyer's pitched his last extended stretch of effective baseball. And that's a shame, because he's had a pretty awesome career.

3) Phillies history vs. Rays history

Even though The Common Man doesn't really think that previous incarnations of the Phillies and Rays will have any bearing on this series, it's worht noting that these are two of the losingest sports franchises in the history of professional sports. The Phillies have been around since 1883 and have won exactly ONE league championship (there was no World Series before 1903). Their all-time record is 8945-10,099. They are the only franchise ever with 10,000 losses. The Rays, on the other hand, have a 751-1037 record in just 11 seasons. Their winning percentage is an abysmal .420. This is not only the first year they've made the postseason, but the first year they've finished above .500, and the first year they haven't lost at least 90 games. If there is some way for both teams to lose this World Series, The Common Man is confident it will happen.

4) Brett Myers vs. Willy Aybar

If Aybar starts at DH tonight for the Rays, and judging by how well he's been hitting that's a distinct possibility, you can call this the Domestic Disturbance Dustup. Aybar, after a disappointing 2007 that saw him check into rehab for a substance abuse problem, started 2008 off in a big way by assaulting his wife in the Dominican Republic. Afraid that being jailed for three months would be detrimental to the family, Aybar's wife had the charges dropped and Aybar was free to come back to the Rays and deliver post-season heroics and have everyone in the mainstream news forget that he's a wife-beater. Likewise, Phillies starter Brett Myers is a mouth-breathing, raging, wife-beating a-hole who deserves to be shoveling manure in whatever hole he crawled out of rather than pitching in a World Series. Myers was arrested in 2006, in Boston, for hitting his wife in the face out in public on the street. God knows what he does in private. Myers was allowed to pitch the next day by the Phillies (if The Common Man remembers correctly, on national TV). Following the game, according to ESPN, Myers said was not especially contrite, saying, "I'm sorry it had to get public, that's it. Of course, it's embarrassing." Myers, by the way, is 6'4", 215-230 lbs. His wife is not. The Common Man doesn't wish ill on many people, but if it were possible for both of these men to get tangled up along the first baseline and each tear an achilles, he'd be for it.

5) TV Ratings vs. Good baseball

Look, the TV ratings are going to be lower for this World Series than last year's. That's just the way it goes. Fewer people live in Tampa and Philly than in Boston and Denver. But, if the teams play well and the games are close, series like this have the ability to create more fans for major league baseball than another year with the Sox or Yankees in the series. Indeed, thinking back to the Twins' first championship in 1987, and how that affected The Common Man's rooting interests, it's clear that he would not be as obsessed with the game today than he would have been if the Twins stayed also-rans for so many of his formative years. So think of all the kids in Philly and Tampa today who are getting to enjoy and be motivated by baseball for the first time. And think about how these kids are going to grow up to be baseball nuts in 2020. And think about the kids in Chicago or St. Louis or rural Arkansas that get to see players like Carl Crawford, Jimmy Rollins, Evan Longoria, Chase Utley, and even Jaimie Moyer and see their futures. The Common Man thinks that this World Series can and will do more for baseball in the long-term than any since, say, 2001.

World Series Preview

Since The Common Man has split the day chasing The Boy and worshipping at the alter of the porcelyn god, he has not had a chance to write the massive, detailed, funny, insightful, and moving World Series Preview he had planned. He'll try to get to that tomorrow morning, assuming he hasn't flushed away all his internal organs by then, and have a regular post up in the afternoon as well.

But since the series is about to start, here's The Common Man's prediction snapshot for the 103rd World Series.

1) Rays win in 6. Shysterball points out

"I think prognosticators do that because if they say a series will end in four or five games, they are saying something bold about one team's strength in relation to the other's. To call for a sweep is to suggest a hopeless mismatch. To say five is only a tad better. A fella can piss off readers when he does that and, even worse, someone may later say that he was really, really wrong! At the same time, if he says seven, he's basically saying he has no idea which team is better, and hey, anyone can do that. "Saying six is a difference splitter. By saying six, Johnny Expert is basically saying "I think team X is better than team Y, but not so much that you can later rub how wrong I was in my face, OK?"

Still, The Common Man picks the Rays because they look better on paper, the AL is better than the NL for the umpteenth straight year, but the Phils are good enough to homer their way into a couple of wins.

2) Key Players. For Tampa, their starters (Kazmir, Shields, Garza, Sonnanstine) need to go deep and limit the exposure of Tampa's bullpen. Out in the bullpen, David Price needs to be the monster he is. For Philly, it will essential for Pat Burrell and Chris Coste to get hot and hit the pants off of Kazmir. And Hamels needs to be lights out, because...

3) Philly (and Cole Hamels) need to beat Scott Kazmir twice. Hamels is the only elite starter the Phils have, and they'll need to luck into two more wins from Myers, Moyer, and Blanton in order to pull this off. So...

4) If Philly loses game one, it's essentially done. Sure, stranger things have happened, momentum doesn't really matter, baseball's a funny game, yadda, yadda, yadda. But unless the Phils get an out of nowhere performance from one of their other starters, The Common Man doesn't see how they keep up with the Rays' consistent offense and sparkling pitchers.

5) Ryan Howard has to be a monster in games 2-4 and 6-7. He's a hell of a hitter, very strong, but definitely not used to facing the caliber of righty starters that the Rays are going to throw at him (again, AL > NL).

So there you go. Good luck to both teams, since The Common Man doesn't really have a horse in this race. The Common Man now is going to collapse in a chair and pray the world stops spinning.

Common (Sports)man: The Essence of Vikings Fandom

Watching the Vikings game, The Common Man can't shake the feeling that the Vikings will find a way to squander their 10 point lead. And as Gus Frerotte throws way behind Chester Taylor and Bernard Berrian forgets that he has to make an effort to catch a pass, even if it's underthrown.

For those of you who are not Vikings fans, The Common Man feels like he needs to lay it out.

The Vikings were an NFL expansion franchise in 1961, born at the same time that the Washington Senators moved in and became the Minnesota Twins. Indeed, the arrival of two major sports franchises announced to the rest of the country that the Twin Cities were no longer the hinterlands of the midwest, ten steps south of Canada. Minneapolis and St. Paul were big league, and the Metro Area's identity became indelibly glued to their teams, as fans have glommed onto the success of their teams, particularly in the dead of winter.

After the initial growing pains that a expansion team experiences, the Vikings blossomed under new coach Bud Grant in 1968, beginning an 11 year run in which they never finished lower than .500 (they also were at .500 or better in 12 of 13 and 14 of 16). During that run, the Vikings made four Super Bowls, losing them all, simply choking away every opportunity to bring a championship to Minnesota.

After rebuilding under Jerry Burns and Denny Green, the Vikes had another 16 year stretch where they were at or above .500 14 times, a run that peaked with the team's 15-1 finish in 1998. But again, the team couldn't get over the hump, suffering heartbreaking losses in big playoff games (famously on Nick Anderson's first missed field goal of the season in the '98 NFC Championship Game), and underachieving in spite of their impressive talent.

Being a Vikings fan has always been about dealing with disappointment, dashed dreams, and squandered potential. It's like being a Cubs fan without the quirky and annoying mystical element. It's not that the Vikings have had bad luck, it's just that they've failed. Again and again and again. And they have taught their fans to both deal with and expect that failure. Vikings fans simply wait to see how their team will squander their latest opportunity.

And while The Common Man watches Reggie Bush return his second punt for a touchdown (why are you kicking to him a third time Brad Childress), he gets ready to endure yet another disappointment. He supposes that dealing with disappointment constructively is a valuable skill for a man to learn, but The Common Man just wants to throw his remote through the drywall of the mancave.



Addendum: Well, now that the game's over and Ryan Longwell's 30 yard field goal won it for the Vikes, dare The Common Man to dream? Or is he inviting further sadness/anger?

A Crappy Job

The first and best role model any boy can have is his father, of course. From watching dad, boys can learn how to treat a woman, how to raise a family, and what constitutes responsible behavior. However, because no one really wants to become their father, boys are forced to look elsewhere for additional examples of manhood. They look to their teachers and their friends. They look to popular culture and they look to history. And, perhaps above all, they look to professional sports. Most sports are traditionally masculine to some degree, teaching competitiveness and camaraderie, sportsmanship and fairness. And a healthy respect for following and breaking the rules. And with their impressive skills and physiques, athletes look the part of the man, usually far more so than a boy's father. It's easy to understand why boys look up to them.

And so, millions of boys in every generation aspire not just to be athletes like their heroes, but to be their heroes. But no one, at that age, really has any idea what their heroes are like when they aren't in the public eye. And so, those knowledge gaps are filled with versions of their idols conforming to whatever ideal of manhood the boy has, forgetting that many of their idols are in their early 20s (barely men themselves) and (by the nature of the environment they inhabit and how they've been treated) are essentially overgrown adolescents anyway.

Indeed, it is impossible for any generation to truly know its idols (at least until the biopic comes out. Not Mohammad Ali, not Mickey Mantle. Not Evel Knievil, not Reggie Jackson. Not Michael Jordan, not Kirby Puckett. Not Albert Pujols, Greg Maddux, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, or Michael Phelps. Indeed, except for very brief moments, you don't get to see the man behind the athlete's curtain. Unless you can walk a mile in their shoes, you'll never know exactly what kind of men they are/were.

And, it turns out, you may not want to walk a mile in their shoes. In a delightfully candid moment, Hall of Fame 3B George Brett pulled back the magic curtain that separates Brett the man from Brett the ballplayer, and you find out what George Brett does to his shoes (and his pants). The results are not safe for work (though they are relatively quiet). (note: the embedded video has been repaired)


(h/t to Shysterball)

Thousands of 30-40 year olds in Kansas City are weeping openly today as The Common Man writes this. Perhaps that curtain is best left where it is.

Now, who's the pitcher for this game?

Beaconing Hope

Oh man, something has been tearing through The Common Family this week. Fevers have spiked. Coughs have lingered. Fluids have projected. It has not been fun. And so, The Common Man spent a great deal of time nursing The Boy back to health, resting on the couch watching bad movies, and cuddling with The Uncommon Wife (yes, men cuddle) while watching DVDs in bed. While great for family bonding, it has been detrimental to actual productivity, so The Common Man will do his best to make up for lost time. Fortunately, he has lots to talk about.

For instance, in the face of The Common Man's recent shivering spell on the sofa, he's grown more and more impressed with the performance of the Milwaukee Brewers' ace, CC Sabathia. Sabathia, famously acquired by the Brewers in a midseason deal, has been unstoppable thusfar in a Milwaukee uniform. In just 11 starts, he has gone 9-0 with a 1.43 ERA. He's completed more than half his starts and has three shutouts in the process, and has struck out almost a batter an inning while allowing just one runner per inning. In his previous start, he threw a one-hitter against the Pittsburgh Pirates, striking out 11.



Yet, Sabathia's not just notable for his excellence. Indeed, his toughness and durability have caused controversy in recent weeks. Since joining the Brewers, Sabathia has been worked hard by manager Ned Yost, averaging 111.6 pitches per start including a 130 pitch complete game when his team was up by six runs. While this is an indefensible strategy for his manager (especially if Sabathia appears worn down in the postseason), it's a remarkable accomplishment for Sabathia. For the year, he is leading the majors in pitches/start, when the league median is close to 93. That means that, on average, Sabathia is giving his team a full inning more of (an incredibly high level of) production than the typical major league starter.

And this is a risky strategy, both for the Brewers and for Sabathia. Current research indicates, according to a 2004 article by Baseball Prospectus's Rany Jazayerli, "1. While pitching is an inherently unnatural motion, throwing a pitch does not necessarily do permanent damage to a pitcher's arm. It's only when fatigue sets in (and a pitcher's mechanics start to waver) that continued pitching can result in irreversible injury. 2. There is a certain number of pitches that a pitcher can throw before that fatigue sets in. 3. Once a pitcher is fatigued, each additional pitch causes more damage, and results in more additional fatigue, than the pitch before." And so, as Sabathia racks up start after start of high pitch counts, his likelihood of suffering a season ending, or even a catastrophic, arm injury exponentially increases.

There is rampant speculation that the Brewers, realizing that they are unlikely to sign Sabathia after the season (he'll be a free agent) have decided to ignore this risk for this year and run him into the ground. Yost has contradicted this assertion, saying, "I respect him as a player. I respect him as a person. He's got a family. I know how this business works. He has to provide for his family. I would never do anything that would take away from that ability. I just couldn't live with myself." Regardless of whether they are knowingly putting Sabathia's health in jeopardy, the Brewers' strategy seems unwise both for the rest of this season and for their pitcher's future.

For his part, however, Sabathia has acted like a shining beacon of manhood; he has taken the abuse his manager has dished out with no complaint, indeed with eagerness to take the ball and dominate his opposition. With the looming prospect of making $100 million, The Common Man could understand if Sabathia wanted to baby his golden left arm, ensuring his family's prosperity for generations to come. But his continued enthusiasm for taking the ball in the face of risk and his continued excellence singles him out as The Common Man's Weekly Beacon of Manhood (a new feature here). You can bet that CC Sabathia wouldn't lay on the couch and watch The Condemned if he had a game to pitch. Shame on The Common Man.

The Common Sportsman: AFC Preview

Here is part 2 of The Common Man's NFL preview. One note to keep in mind, The Common Man made absolutely no effort to ensure that the records came out evenly. That's some math major's job, and The Common Man weren't no math major. He liked him the English language. So there.

AFC East
New England Patriots (12-4) - The Pats missed it by this much, last year (he says in his best Don Adams voice), going 18-0 before losing to the Giants in the Super Bowl. Expect them to appear mortal this year, perhaps losing as many as five games. They definitely are the best team in the league at plug-and-play, creatively filling in gaps that their refusal to spring for top free agent talent often creates. They don't seem to miss a beat. This year, Asante Samuel is gone, as is Junior Seau. And their linebackers are a year older and slower. It may be that the dropoff finally hits them. Also, look for Randy Moss, who last year was playing with something to prove, to create drama at some point. It'll be a nagging injury, leading to a dropoff in throws to his side. He'll get bored, and complain about his touches. And it will be a distraction.
Buffalo Bills (10-6) - Every year, The Common Man gets suckered into the Bills. This year, they've got the promising Trent Edwards behind center for the bulk of the season, Marshawn Lynch ready to run over defenses, and Lee Evans going deep. And their defense is vastly improved with the addition of Marcus Stroud and the return of Paul Posluszny (who should be covered in an inch-thick layer of bubble wrap as soon as he leaves the field). Couple that with a creampuff schedule, and the Bills are back, baby.*
*Note: The Common Man has just guaranteed that the Bills will suffer catastrophic injuries and finish 5-11, especially because they have zero depth.
New York Jets (10-6) - Brett Favre. What could he possibly have left in the tank, after seeming to leave it all on the field last December? He is one of the best quarterbacks of all time, and The Common Man is glad he's out of the NFC North, but the decision to bring him in will either be inspired or an utter disaster for the Jets, and The Common Man thinks it's more likely to be the latter, particularly with their poor running game unable to take the heat off of Favre. An improved defense will stem the bleeding, and keep the Jets in contention for the playoffs. But they don't have the ability to get past the first round.
Miami Dolphins (4-12) - Wow. Just wow. If Bill Parcells manages to turn this team around in 3 years, it'll be the personnel revamp of the century. If Chad Pennington's shoulder holds up. And IF Joey Porter plays like he gives a damn. And IF Ted Ginn Jr. magically becomes a decent receiver/Hester-esque kick returner. And IF Ricky Williams avoids the Reefer Madness, the Fins win 6 games. Max. Good luck with that.

AFC North
Cleveland Browns (10-6) - Oh, how The Common Man wants them to rank higher than this. With the emergence of Derek Anderson, a terrific offensive line, and dynamic big play threats like Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow Jr., the offense should have little trouble putting up points. And the solid defense should hold its own. Hell, even Jamal Lewis looks like Jamal Lewis again, now that he's more than a year removed from prison food. But the Browns start out at home against Dallas and Pittsburgh, then go to Baltimore and Cincinnati, before going home to face the Giants. It's conceivable they could be 1-4 at the end of that stretch, and largely out of the playoff hunt. The rest of their schedule is no less brutal, going up against Indianapolis at home and Philly and Jacksonville on the road.
Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6) - The Steelers are brimming with talent at QB, RB, WR, and TE this year. Santonio Holmes has been a terrific addition so far, effectively replacing Anquan Randle-El and Plexico Burress with his athleticism and his flexibility. Look for a big year from Big Ben if his line gives him any time to throw and enjoy watching the best defense in the AFC (and the return of Troy Polamalu, the most fun-to-watch defensive player in the league). Only a tough schedule will keep them from running away with the division. Look for Week 17's throwdown in Pittsburgh with Cleveland to decide the division.
Cincinnati Bengals (6-10) - Cincinnati is the embodiment of promise unfulfilled. With Rudi and Chad Johnson, TJ Houshmandzadeh, and Carson Palmer at the skill positions, this team should be able to dominate its competition. But a loose hold over the locker room has let this franchise get out of control. They've lost several players to off-field troubles, and do not have enough talent in the trenches to control the point of attack. This team could freefall quickly if they start slow.
Baltimore Ravens (5-11) - Willis Magahee and a daunting defense are impressive, but will not overcome an absolute cypher in the quarterback position and no big play weapons on the offense. Troy Smith is their de facto QB for the year. Really? Troy Smith? The black Doug Flutie? Good luck with that.

AFC South
Indianapolis Colts (12-4) - Who else, really? Provided essential cogs Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison are even close to 100% physically, who contends with this team? Year after year, Manning dominates his division like no other quarterback in the league, putting up gaudy numbers and being a consummate leader on the field. There is simply nothing to say about this team that hasn't been said a thousand times before. As usual, they'll make the playoffs in spite of a grueling schedule, and will go as far as their defense will let them.
Houston Texans (9-7) - This is The Common Man's big surprise in the AFC, as the Texans will see a great deal of improvement this year. Andre Johnson and Mario Williams will continue to develop, and the offensive line play, and thus the running attack will improve greatly. With reduced pressure on Matt Schaub, the former Michael Vick caddy/leash-holder will have the ability to stand back in the pocket and make good throws to Johnson and Andre Davis. Their defense remains a weakness, but the Texans will do enough to turn the bottom of this division into a slugfest, perhaps with none of the teams making the playoffs.
Jacksonville Jaguars (9-7) - The two-headed rushing attack of Maurice Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor, and imposing line play on both sides of the ball will continue to help the Jaguars this year. If David Garrard can find any reliable targets to throw to, they will finish in the playoffs.
Tennessee Titans (8-8) - Virtually the same team as Jacksonville, the Titans play big up front and have two impressive backs (LenDale White and Chris Johnson). But QB Vince Young needs someone (anyone?) to step up at WR to keep the safeties from creeping up. Young's ability to move will help somewhat, as defenses will be forced to spy him. But if no one has the ability to get open, it won't matter.

AFC West
San Diego Chargers (11-5) - Shawne Merriman: proof that steroids don't make you smarter. Going against doctor's advice, Merriman is determined to play the 2008 season with two torn ligaments in his knee. Enjoy Merriman's hobbled presence for two games, Charger fans, before he inevitably aggravates the injury and blows a massive hole in your 3-4 scheme. Blessed with the two players who inspire the most mismatches in the NFL (Antonio Gates and LaDanian Tomlinson), this shouldn't hurt San Diego much in the regular season, particularly in a weak division. But look for Merriman's absence to really show in the playoffs, as the Chargers get steamrolled out in the first round.
Oakland Raiders (9-7) - The Silver and Black is back, baby. Or at least is not going to be an embarrassment this year. JaMarcus Russell and Darren McFadden will benefit from an improved front line, and Javon Walker will provide a sure deep target for Russell's golden arm. Look for a big improvement in the defense, as new corner DeAngelo Hall will team with Nnamdi Asomugha to allow the Raider safeties to play up more often to defend the run. The team is still soft in its front seven, but will score enough points to outgun at least a few of its opponents this year.
Denver Broncos (7-9) - Another disappointing year in Denver for Mike Shanahan. If Jay Cutler is going to develop, this has got to be the year. Though the buzz out of Denver is that he's good to go, The Common Man is skeptical, particularly because he doesn't have much to throw to. The Broncos will have their usually strong running game, but Champ Bailey does not a defense make, and the Broncos will be manhandled by teams with a strong running game or multiple offensive weapons (Oakland, San Diego, New Orleans, Jacksonville, New England, Cleveland, the Jets, Carolina, and Buffalo).
Kansas City Chiefs (3-13) - Brodie Croyle is not the answer at QB, and the Chiefs defense is going to miss Jared Allen's disruptive ability this year. Larry Johnson, Tony Gonzalez, and Dwayne Bowe are excellent players who will continue to impress (and make Croyle look better than he is), but who knows when and if they'll be rested to keep them fresh for 2009?. This is a lost season in Kansas City, but look for them to start to rebound next year and be solid again by 2010.

Playoffs
Round 1
(There's a big bunch of teams fighting for slots 4-6, so this is a guess as to how the tie-breakers work out)
Pittsburgh over San Diego
Cleveland over Buffalo

Round 2
Cleveland over New England
Indianapolis over Pittsburgh

AFC Championship
Indianapolis over Cleveland

SUPER BOWL
Minnesota over Indianapolis as Purple Jesus scores 2 long TDs and Jared Allen dislocates Peyton's non-throwing shoulder. The Common Man fears no jinx. Bring it on.

Common Sportsman: NFC Preview

The NFL season starts next week, and since The Common Man grew up in Minnesota (where the college football team's motto is "we're bound not to suck one of these years") he has been a far greater fan of the pro game. Also, the pro game, for all its faults, just seems manlier than college. And so, The Common Man devotes his time to the NFL when his attention is not squarely on the ballfield. Here's how he sees the NFC season shaping up this season (tomorrow, the AFC):

NFC East
Dallas Cowboys (12-4) - Dallas added Zach Thomas and Pacman Jones to a good defense, and is likely to have one of the top in the league this year. Tony Romo, if his head is on straight, is a solid quarterback with a Hall of Fame receiver to throw to and a very good back behind him (Marion Barber). And the offensive line has its own gravitational field, and should swallow up most of the rush before it has a chance to touch him. A very tough schedule schedule out of the gate (@ Cleveland, Philly, @ Green Bay) will set the tone for the rest of the way. If they start out 2-1 or better, they'll coast the rest of the way.
New York Giants (10-6) - Last year's Super Bowl champs have lost TE Jeremy Shockey and have injury troubles on both sides of the ball (including the season-ender to Osi Umenyiora last week). And everyone is going to be gunning for them. But they have a smart and flexible coach, a battle-tested and healthy QB (and two intriguing backups in David Carr and Andre Woodson) and a strong offensive line to run behind and take some pressure off a depleted defense. A tough schedule (road games against Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Philly, and Dallas) could stand in their way.
Philadelphia Eagles (8-8) - Philly has some great players on defense, especially after stealing Asante Samuel away from the Pats. And Brian Westbrook is a force. But an old O-line will not be able to protect Donovan McNabb, and when he goes down Kevin Kolb and AJ Feeley will not be able to make up the slack, even against their easy 2nd half schedule. Look for Kevin Curtis to come back to Earth this year.
Washington ________ (6-10) - An easy schedule helps, but they just don't have the talent, regardless of how well Jason Taylor plays. Another full year of Clinton Portis quotes should dull the pain. Change your damn mascot.

NFC North
Minnesota Vikings (10-6) - The most important name in the NFL this year is Tavaris Jackson. If he plays adequately, the Vikes will easily win 10, and maybe more. If not, they'll struggle to be .500. Look for an MVP-type year for the Purple Jesus (Adrian Peterson), strong O-line play, and the best defense in the NFL.
Green Bay Packers (10-6) - OK, maybe the most important name in the NFL this year is Aaron Rodgers. With the much publicized departure of Brett Favre, Rodgers takes the reins, and creats a big question mark at QB. He has more talent than Jackson, but his supporting staff is not as impressive. This division is a toss-up, but the loser will probably get the Wild Card. Rodgers must (MUST) start hot, or this locker room and fanbase could be in open revolt before Week 5.
Detroit Lions (6-10) - Detroit is Minnesota circa 2001. Very good receivers, but no one to get them the ball. The QB is diminishing, there's no consistent running back. A good secondary, but no pass rush to take the heat off. This team maxes out at 7 wins.
Chicago Bears (5-11) - Call The Common Man skeptical of the Kyle Orton era. No QB + running game in flux + losing best receiver to division rival (Bernard Berrian to Vikings) + rough D-line play = bad juju. This is Lovie Smith's last stand, especially if the defense underperforms again.

NFC West
Seattle Seahawks (11-5) - The good news: Swapping out Shaun Alexander for Julius Jones shouldn't hurt as much as you think. The O-line is solid, the defense is good. Matt Hasselback is still one of the 5 best QBs in the NFC. The bad news: The receivers are old and/or injured and/or inconsistent. Their brutal schedule takes them to Dallas, New York (Giants), and Tampa Bay, while the Patriots, Jets, Eagles, and Packers all come to town. If they win three of those games, they should coast to the division title.
Arizona Cardinals (9-7) - Two good receivers and a solid RB are not going to make up for a quarterback controversy, chemistry problems, and the most apathetic fan base this side of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Anquan Boldin has asked to be traded, Matt Leinert's has lost the confidence of his team, and Kurt Warner moves as well in the pocket as a tuna does in a net. Yes, the Cardinals kept it close all last year, but color The Common Man incredibly skeptical. These are, after all, the Cardinals. Throw in a schedule that ends with Minnesota, @ New England, Seattle, you can expect Arizona to be limping over the finish line.
San Francisco 49ers (6-10) - Frank Gore is an excellent running back who will help the team grind and hold leads (if they get any) and the defense will be improved with the addition of Takeo Spikes and Justin Smith. Question marks at QB (J.T. O'Sullivan??? Why isn't he just Irish McIrelandpants?), head coach (the Mike Nolan era has not gone well), and the offensive line (the worst in the league last year, and largely unimproved upon). A manageable schedule helps, and so will new offensive coordinator Mike Martz. But it won't help enough and Nolan is dead man walking. Wherefore art though Joe Montana, Steve Young, Jerry Rice, and Roger Craig?
St. Louis Rams (4-12) - The Common Man just thinks the Rams are set to fall apart this year. The O-line is healthy for now, but fragile. Bulger can't move enough to avoid the rush. Steven Jackson is coming in late following an extended holdout. Torry Holt has lost a step or three. The defense is attrocious. Head coach Scott Linehan may not last the season.

NFC South
New Orleans Saints (11-5) - Drew Brees, with an improved pass game and Deuce McAllister back, will lead this team to a nice rebound year. Look for McAllister's return to open up more opportunities for Marques Colston deep and new toy Jeremy Shockey over the middle. And it will also allow the Saints to use Reggie Bush creatively as well. Bush may never be the superstar he was billed as, but he can be an explosive playmaker in the right situation. Look for a stronger defensive rush to make the entire secondary look better.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-8) - Age finally catches up to the Bucs, as injuries and ineffective play will dog them all year long. Cadillac Williams will be the lone bright spot on offense and Jon Gruden will leave with a bag over his head at the end of the year. Jeff Garcia, Joey Galloway, Derrick Brooks, Warrick Dunn, Ike Hilliard, and Ronde Barber? If this were 2001, this team would steamroll the league.
Carolina Panters (7-9) - Carolina could jump the Bucs, especially if Tampa's age issues cause a freefall. Jake Delhomme is a strong QB and is apparently throwing at 100%. And Steve Smith is one of the best receivers in the league. But Smith is out for the first two games (suspended for punching out a teammate), and their defense is suspect everywhere except linebacker (Dan Connor will turn out to be an excellent pick for them). To go anywhere, DeAngelo Williams is going to have to carry the ball a lot, and run very far. Otherwise, they won't be able to dig themselves out of an early hole.
Atlanta Falcons (2-14) - This is a lost season. Rookie QB Matt Ryan will be learning on the job and RB Michael Turner will be shouldering the load as a feature back for the first time. Michael Vick's implosion set this team back five years, and they're only in year 2.

In the playoffs:
1st Round: Vikings over Giants, Seahawks over Packers
2nd Round: Vikings over Cowboys, Saints over Seahawks
Championship: Vikings over Saints (What can The Common Man say? He's a homer.)

It's How You Play the Game

Like many of you, The Common Man was an enthusiastic participant in Little League baseball. In an oversized batting helmet and using an undersized bat, The Common Man would play two games a week, rarely swinging (The Common Man was a terrible batsman) but fielding his position with aplomb. It helped solidify his love of the game and gave him confidence. Indeed, The Common Man still remembers how it felt when he turned an unassisted double play, or that one year he somehow hit .350 (must have been a lot of infield singles), or breaking late from third after the catcher tossed the ball back to the mound to steal home, or dropping down sidearm to strike out Brian Giguere with the bases loaded and two outs (a trick that only worked just that one time). And frankly, it wasn't about winning or losing really. But it was about those individual moments of triumph and the rush that accompanied them.

The Common Man's faith in little league baseball was shaken somewhat in 2001, when Danny Almonte, a tall, skinny boy from the Bronx dominated a bunch of 12 year-olds from the pitcher's mound in Williamsport, PA. Almonte blew fastball after fastball past these boys, becoming the first pitcher at the Little League World Series to throw a perfect game. As it turned out, The Common Man is sure you'll recall, there was a good reason for that. Almonte was 14, and his birth certificate a fake. His team was forced to forfeit its games and his coach fired. And, tragically, Almonte was forced to endure media speculation and glare, and became the butt of thousands of jokes at his expense. It's tragic, as he was horribly exploited by those who were supposed to care for him.

Anyway, a few weeks later 9/11 happened and the world largely forgot Danny Almonte, except when someone like ESPN's Outside the Lines goes searching for another way to drag him back into the limelight. In what the ESPN article calls a "karmic reversal," it turns out that the hitters Almonte retired in 2001 are beginning to get drafted by big league teams, while Almonte toils in junior college trying to make people forget the scandal caused in his name.

And today, because of the adults who Almonte trusted with his future, The Common Man immediately feels conflicted about young Jericho Scott. Scott is nine years-old and plays in a Connecticut youth league, but teams are refusing to play against him because he's too good. According to ESPN, "the right-hander has a fastball that tops out at about 40 mph. He throws so hard that the Youth Baseball League of New Haven told his coach that the boy could not pitch any more. When Jericho took the mound anyway last week, the opposing team forfeited the game, packed its gear and left." The league is disbanding his team and handing out refunds to parents who request them.

It's all very strange, if you ask The Common Man. On the one hand, he does not feel that young Scott should be forced to pitch on a traveling team if he doesn't want to, and should be able to play on a team with his friends, rather than be bumped up to higher league. It seems wrong to penalize him for being too good. On the other hand, he sympathizes with players who might feel as though they have little chance when they step in the box, and with parents who want their kids to feel good about themselves and the game they're playing.

But what these parents seem to be forgetting is that any kid who does get a hit off of Jericho Scott, whether he's too good for the league or not, is going to remember that forever. Just like any kid who got a hit off Danny Almonte has a story to tell for the rest of their lives. Just like The Common Man is always going to have that moment he decided to drop down sidearm (and conveniently forgets that he allowed a double and two walks to load those bases in the first place, and ended up with an ERA around 8.00 that year).

Baseball, when you're young, isn't about winning or losing. It's about those series of moments. Moments that remind you that you're good enough. Moments that build character and camaraderie between teammates. Yes, Jericho Scott is going to have a lot of those moments. But his teammates will too, and so will his opponents. If not against Jericho then against some other pitcher. That's another thing about baseball. You can go 0-for-3 against Randy Johnson one day, but go 2-for-4 against Livan Hernandez the next.

So let the boy play, New Haven. Let them all play. After all, it's just a game. And they're just kids, no matter how good or bad they are.

(ga-ah, ga-ah) Lady Looks Like a Dude

It had to be easier in the old days, didn't it? To tell the difference? The Common Man is mildly mortified to learn that, these days, Olympic officials are having trouble keeping track of just who's what gender. According to Duke University professor of law (and former track and field athlete) Doriane Lambelet, the practice of lifting up athlete's skirts and checking under the hood (actually a blood test) is not a new one. As early as 1968, Olympic officials were testing women to make sure they were, in fact, women, particularly in light of the Soviet Union and Eastern Bloc's heavy involvement in anabolic steroids and willingness to cheat by any means necessary, and the fact that a lot of their women athletes looked like dudes.

According to the British newspaper, The Telegraph, eight women have "failed" the test in the past, getting results that suggested they were men. All were cleared on subsequent appeal, as "seven were found to have been suffering from an 'intersexual' condition in which they had some male and some female chromosomal features."

Two part of this story, aside from the inherent curiosity one feels when they visit the carnival, interest The Common Man. The first is that there might actually be men who want to compete as women. Now, as thrilling as Juwanna Mann was, it's hard to believe that anyone would really be able to relish the glory of winning, and endure a celebration of that victory if it were all a deception. At least with the baseball steroid controversy, those who cheated a) never had to lie about who they were and b) were reasonably certain that a lot of their competitors were also getting an unfair boost. In this case, these men would be trying to gain a competitive advantage simply because of their gender. While The Common Man doesn't want to engage in any "men are better athletes than women" bantering, it's clear that anyone competing as a member of the opposite gender would believe in that advantage and would still bask in the glory of the win. The Common Man can't understand that phenomenon.

The second issue that plagues The Common Man is that not all female athletes will be tested. Initially, in the interest of fairness, every woman was checked. However, beginning with the Sydney games in 2000, women were tested "only after doubt had been cast on an athlete's gender," according to Professor Tian Qinjie of the Peking Union Medical College Hospital. Now, consider that. You're minding your own business, swimming your 400 meter freestyle, and somebody has the gall to ask you to step aside 'cuz they aren't sure you're a woman. And this is supposed to be fair, how? Think of the psychological impact something like that could have. ”The aim," Professor Tian says, "is to protect fairness at the Games while also protecting the rights of people with abnormal sexual development.” Well, The Common Man can understand the desire to protect women's medical information, but what about the rights of the women who are yanked aside because someone suspects something. How would you feel, men, if you're in line for the trough at a football game and someone pulled you aside and said, "Hey, no offense, pal, but I don't think you're a dude. You should get out of here."? The Common Man thinks that fella might have a fight on his hands. Or at least an indignant and justified argument.

The Common Man wonders why the Olympic committee can't just test everyone and not release the results until after the games are over and everyone has a chance to get their sexual development disorders in a row? This can't be so complicated that you have to crush the self-esteem of manly women who just want to toss a shotput for their country.

The Common Sportsman

Look, The Common Man loves sports, particularly baseball. And since this is his site, he feels like he should have free reign to write about them. That said, this site really isn't so much about sports as it is about the things guys should do and care about. So, to hedge his bets a little, The Common Man is introducing a new feature, The Common Sportsman. Every so often, he will focus on sports from a man's perspective. Read along and see what he means, as he documents two storms that caught his eye this week, one that you've probably heard about and one you probably haven't (unless you follow baseball like it's a religion).


The first story comes out of Boston. While for most of you, it probably has little immediate impact, people in the Northeast will be foaming at the mouth for the next few days, given the voracious appetites and surly nature of Boston media-types. According to Bob Lobel, the former sports director for local station WBZ, Manny Ramirez may have struck out on purpose in the 9th inning of a tie game, as some form of petulant revenge on the front office of the Red Sox.

Here's the short version of the backstory. Baseball players get to request tickets for their family and friends and anyone who does them a favor from major league teams. Minor leaguers get to do this too, but they get fewer tickets. The tickets become a form of currency, as players use them to exchange for meals, services, whatever. It's a nice perk, but the players generally need to request these tickets a day or so in advance, since they are typically good seats and the home team likes to sell them. In June, while in Houston, Manny asked a member of the team's front office for a large number of tickets, perhaps as many as 20, a few hours before the game. When the team employee informed Manny that he might not be able to fulfill the request, Manny got pissed and shoved the 60-year old to the ground. The Sox heavily fined their leftfielder, and all was, supposedly forgiven.

Lobel, however, got a different story. Upset at the heavy fine, Manny (according to Lobel) began acting out. The highest crime came in a June game against the Yankees, when Manny allegedly laid down. Lobel alleges, "The bat on the shoulder for the three pitches from Mariano Rivera. That was a big [expletive] to the Red Sox after the fine. I'm just telling you ... there are things in the front office that are perceived ... I'm saying that there is a strong feeling that that [three-pitch strikeout] was the message to the Red Sox and it's a strong feeling that that's unacceptable ... there's a feeling that he didn't give it his all, let's put it that way ... I'm just saying the front office has not forgotten that moment. It's akin to Nomar sitting on the bench [in a game in which Derek Jeter dove into the stands at Yankee Stadium in 2004]. It's the same thing. It's an at bat that resonated very strongly in the front office."

Rob Neyer's analysis of Lobel's accusation is that "Manny had been struggling: In his 21 games before July 6, he'd batted .188 with just one homer and 22 strikeouts.... What to make of all this? I don't know. But we might guess that somebody told Lobel about the fine, and that somebody suggested to him that MannyB struck out on purpose." But there's little to indicate, aside from Lobel's unsupported allegations, that Manny intentionally struck out. Is he a prima dona? Undoubtedly. Difficult and aloof? Surely. A professional hitter, and one of the best right-handed bats of the past 50 years. Truly.

And so The Common Man doesn't really think that Manny struck out on purpose. But perhaps the cardinal virtue of manhood is that they are supposed to, in all times and all places, give their best effort. No excuses, no exceptions. Never quit, never say die. And certainly never give up on their comrades. Lobel is accusing Manny of being the worst possible kind of man. One who would betray his brothers and behave like a petty child.


These are the kinds of accusations that will dog a man for the rest of his days. Once applied, labels are tough to shake, regardless of what other evidence is brought forward to the contrary or is added to complicate the picture. And so, Joe DiMaggio will always be graceful elegant, and Ted Williams The Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived. Dick Allen will always be surly. John Kerry will always be a flip-flopper. It's a beanball to the head. Once you let it go, there's no calling it back. Lobel, and all men, should be reluctant to lob this fastball in particular.



Our second story comes from the north woods and frozen tundra of Green Bay and the bayous of Louisiana, where the Packers and their legendary quarterback and movie star, Brett Favre, have been sniping back and forth at one another and playing a game of chicken as to whether Favre is going to be donning the green and gold next year. Not finding a daytime NPR station to his liking ,The Common Man has had sports talk radio on a bunch these past weeks, he's been forced to hear the back-and-forth, he said/he said, petty nonsense coming from both parties. Favre retired in February, was given the opportunity to reconsider in March (which he decided against), and now has decided he wants to play again. The Packers, stuck between a veteran quarterback who may have one last run in him and the nominal future of their franchise (Aaron Rodgers), have understandably balked at Favre messing with their plans so close to the start of training camp. Favre is hinting he may show up at camp and ask to be reinstated by the league; the team is saying he's welcome to come back, but as the likely backup.

Caught up in the hoopla and hollerin', the Minnesota Vikings (The Common Man's team of choice) have been accused by the Packers of tampering with Favre. The Vikings, according to the rival Packers, have been sowing seeds of discontent in Favre, trying to throw the whole of Green Bay, nay the whole state of Wisconsin, into chaos. By hinting privately to Favre that he might have a spot with their team, the Vikings, if these allegations are true, would be guilty of tampering.

This, to The Common Man, seems an awful lot like stealing someone's girl. Or perhaps it's trying to date someone's ex. Now, The Common Man knows that you never, ever date a friend's ex. That is verbotten. Fruit from the tree of knowledge. To taste it is to be forever changed, to have knowledge that one should not have and cannot unlearn. That's an offense for which it's reasonable (though not mandatory) to dump a friend.

That said, The Common Man wonders if it's ok to date/steal the ex-girlfriend of some guy you know, see a lot, but can't stand. Say, a co-worker. Say, Dwight. The Common Man presumes, awkwardness aside, that it's ok to go after that guy's ex. But is it ok to steal her? What if they are "on a break"?

Basically, if these allegations were true, what would the Vikings' obligations be, as men? Are they acting inappropriately? Should they be respecting the boundaries of the "relationship" between Favre and his (former?) team? Or is Favre fair game, NFL rules aside?