Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Quick Hits

Some random thoughts infringing on The Common Man's total and complete happiness tonight.

--It feels like The Common Man has a goiter in his throat. Or a grapefruit. Swallowing, obviously, is difficult. For what it's worth, that's a great weight-loss plan. But it only underscores that daycares are nests of germs and viruses. The Common Man's formidible immune system is engaged in battle and is currently winning the fight. Another night of The Boy in his parents' bed, kicking his father in the throat ever 20 minutes, however, may be the tipping point that leads to ruin. However, if The Common Man falls asleep watching baseball in the mancave, perhaps he'll get some extra rest.

--Speaking of baseball, The Common Man is terribly disappointed in his Minnesota Twins, who apparently forgot to bring their bats with them to Chicago last night. Getting just two hits in nine innings was unforgivable, especially since their pitchers held the hated White Sox to just five hits. It's sad that such a wonderfully unexpected season had to end in such bitter disappointment. And now, The Common Man is having trouble caring about the MLB post-season. He supposes that he's rooting for the Brewers and the Rays at this point, but it's half-hearted at best.

--And while The Common Man watches the postseason on TBS, he's reminded constantly of how little he likes Frank Caliendo and FrankTV. While Caliendo is a gifted mimic, and his impressions are almost all on point, he's not very funny in and of himself. His comedy feels incredibly forced. Anyway, TBS reminding The Common Man every commercial break that he has the option to watch FrankTV does not, in fact, make The Common Man more likely to watch. Rather, The Common Man imagines that there is some kind of inverse Frank Caliendo commercials to Frank Caliendo viewers relationship.

Also, Caliendo's over-reliance on his impressions begs the question of whether or not Frank Caliendo has a personality all to his own. Indeed, if Frank Caliendo is everyone, perhaps there is no Frank Caliendo. Perhaps his entire life is a long series of context specific impersonations. Think about it, have you ever seen the man out of character? Maybe that's because he's always in character.

--As long as The Common Man is talking about commercials, let's talk about the Mistriss Mandy gets blocked ads:

The ad itself is amusing, but that's not really the point. The point is that the Mistriss Mandy character is far more raunchy and suggestive than anything on basic cable today. Indeed, The Common Man would be far more likely to block out the Mistriss Mandy commercial than anything else he could find on basic cable. She's overtly sexual and aggressive, and far more likely to promote question asking from an older version of The Boy than, say, the 13 episodes of Law & Order that are on every day. So while The Common Man urges parents to be proactive in determining what their children are watching and are allowed to watch on a day to day basis, he really thinks these ads defeat their purpose, particularly when they run at 4:30 in the afternoon.

--Thankfully, one place that The Common Man won't have to watch Mistriss Mandy and Frank Caliendo and other annoyingly repetitive commercials of their ilk is on DirecTV's new 101 channel, as he enjoys the season premiere of Friday Night Lights without commercial interuptions. FNL had a tremendous first season, and an up and down second, but when it's on it may be the most real show on television today. It will soon be a What You Should Have Been Watching. If you haven't seen it, all the episodes are available online, and you will thank The Common Man profusely for his recommendation. When these other things conspire to ruin The Common Man's night, a little FNL goes a long way to making it better.

1 comment:

The Founding Father said...

"Man Cave" was a term invented by the HGTV Network. Find out the real deal at

Be A Man.

- The Founding Father