Jose Canseco Math

by Jason Wojciechowski

Jose Canseco is tremendous.

home runs should not count if you lose and count doble if you win

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 25, 2012

You were surely silently asking for the career home-run list by Canseco Math. Here is the top 40 in real-lifers (just to choose a round number that includes Canseco).

In parentheses is the player's real-life rank.

1. Babe Ruth, 1030 (3)
2. Hank Aaron, 1024 (2)
3. Barry Bonds, 986 (1)
4. Willie Mays, 916 (4)
5. Manny Ramirez, 824 (14)
6. Jim Thome, 822 (8)
7. Alex Rodriguez, 814 (6)
8. Ken Griffey, 804 (5)
9. Reggie Jackson, 792 (13)
10. Frank Robinson, 792 (9)
11. Mike Schmidt, 762 (15)
12. Mark McGwire, 762 (10)
13. Mickey Mantle, 750 (16)
14. Harmon Killebrew, 750 (11)
15. Lou Gehrig, 744 (26)
16. Sammy Sosa, 730 (7)
17. Jimmie Foxx, 724 (17)
18. Ted Williams, 706 (18)
19. Eddie Mathews, 700 (21)
20. Rafael Palmeiro, 698 (12)
21. Willie McCovey, 692 (18)
22. Eddie Murray, 688 (25)
23. Gary Sheffield, 686 (24)
24. Willie Stargell, 684 (28)
25. Mel Ott, 662 (23)
26. Stan Musial, 660 (28)
27. Fred McGriff, 650 (26)
28. Albert Pujols, 650 (37)
29. Frank Thomas, 646 (18)
30. Chipper Jones, 646 (33)
31. Carlos Delgado, 626 (30)
32. Jose Canseco, 614 (32)
33. Carl Yastrzemski, 614 (34)
34. Ernie Banks, 608 (21)
35. Dave Winfield, 598 (31)
36. Vladimir Guerrero, 590 (35)
37. Jeff Bagwell, 582 (35)
38. Andre Dawson, 568 (39)
39. Juan Gonzalez, 558 (40)
40. Dave Kingman, 534 (38)

Observations!

The Bonds-haters will be happy about this. Somehow I don't think that Jose Canseco is a Bonds-hater. And Canseco himself, hilariously enough, isn't affected at all in terms of his career rank.

Biggest gainers in absolute rank: Lou Gehrig from 26th to 15th, then Albert Pujols and (wait for it) Manny Ramirez each jump nine spots.

Biggest losers in absolute rank: Ernie Banks laps the field, falling from 21st all the way to 34th, with the next worst being Sammy Sosa (nine spots), Frank Thomas (nine), and Rafael Palmeiro (eight).

Want to guess the total win-loss record of the teams these guys played on? You go ahead, then read on.

• Lou Gehrig: 1323-822-19 (.617)
• Albert Pujols: 953-752 (.559)
• Manny Ramirez: 1326-976 (.576)

• Ernie Banks: 1124-1389 (.466)
• Sammy Sosa: 1152-1201 (.490)
• Frank Thomas: 1220-1100 (.524)
• Rafael Palmeiro: 1406-1423 (.497)

One of these is very much not like the other, but Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro's teams also played close to .500 ball.

I do beg Hall of Fame voters to not somehow extract meaning from this, especially as to Frank Thomas. In case any of you out there are reading this: if I see one writer cite this post as part of some sort of weird campaign against Thomas's winner-ness or how he didn't care about the team, I will do everything in my power to discredit you.

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Just for posterity:

@jlwoj Wow that was so fast is bill james your father ? So Lou and Albert and Manny r the most underated sluggers feel bad for banks & rafy

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 25, 2012

FYI this is the best day of my life.