If everyone else was jumping off a bridge, I’d look for the fire,
collapsing structure, and/or runaway train/vehicle, and then, yes I’d jump,
Mooom. When TCM and Bill put up their ballots, I didn’t really feel obligated
to do one, but once Jason did it, I couldn’t become the least favorite son and
look like a slacker. Well, okay I’m already the lesser of the two sons, but I
just don’t want to lose anymore ground than I already have, okay? Anyway,
without further ado.
Jeff Bagwell: He’s 34th
all-time in OPS+ at 149, and he was an excellent baserunner and defender. The
OPS+ adjusts for era and such, and he’s still one of the best hitters ever. But
he might have used steroids! Even if he did, it wasn’t illegal, you doofuses. Get
over your self-righteous indignation and put him in already. It’s already a
year overdue.
Jeromy Burnitz: A
.253/.345/.481 career line for an 111 OPS+ is a perfectly acceptable playing
career. The only thing memorable about him is my 10-12 year-old team running
around yelling, “Burn itz down. Burn itz down” to make fun of a kid who like
him. Yeah, it’s not that funny. We were 10. We thought we were clever.
Vinny Castilla: I will
always, always, always blame Castilla for making Chipper move, which made his
hamstrings explode and his feet crack, which ruined Chipper’s chances at
3,000/500, which ultimately hasn’t ruined Chipper’s Hall of Fame chances. I
still hate Vinny.
Juan Gonzalez: I used to
imagine I was playing professional baseball while I was goofing around in my
basement. I had a glove, a rubber ball, and a sturdy whiffle ball bat to go
through this charade. I remember acting like I was a big power-hitter, but I
didn’t know what the record for RBIs (I still cared about that at the time)
was. I acted like I had 297 in one season. When Gonzalez came along and had his
1998 season (I was 10), I learned the record was 190. Then it got changed to
191. That’s what Gonzalez means to me.
Brian Jordan: He’ll always
bring fond memories to mind for his three pretty good seasons in Atlanta that
always seemed more than that. He’s now a pretty terrible broadcaster, but I
give him a pass because I like him. That kindness doesn’t extend here, though.
For what it’s worth, he and Gonzalez have the same amount of bWAR at 33.5.
Barry Larkin: Larkin’s 11th
all-time among shortstops in OPS+ at 116, and he was a good defensive shortstop
and baserunner. He and Jose Rijo are the only Reds I remember from my youth
(other than Dave Burba; did Burba play for the Reds?), and I don’t remember
thinking “Hall of Famer” when I thought of him. That’s why I have stats. They
tell me he was.
Javy Lopez: Another former
Brave, I loved Lopez. I remember my brother (huge Maddux fan) and I getting
into a knock-out-drag-out brothers fight over the fact that Maddux didn’t like
Lopez catching him. Adam, my brother, though Lopez was a terrible catcher. All
I cared about was that Lopez could hit way better than Eddie Perez. I will not
admit defeat in this argument, but Lopez was not a Hall of Famer.
Edgar Martinez: The most
baffling thing about the Hall of Fame ballots that will be issued is not the
steroid accusations and dismissals. I can understand that. They’re wrong, but I
can understand. What I cannot understand are the people who will vote for Lee
Smith and not Edgar Martinez. THAT. MAKES. NO. SENSE. His OPS+ was 147 (just a
bit below Bagwell), and while he provided no defensive value and wasn’t a good
baserunner, the offense was plenty to give him 67 WAR for his career. Bagwell’s
an easy call for the Hall. Martinez is more debatable, but he’s still a pretty
solid yes.
Don Mattingly: That someone
will vote for him and not Bagwell is probably the second dumbest thing a BBWAA
writer will do. Mattingly was a perfectly good player, but he had a total of 6
3+-win seasons. After 28, he was essentially done. I don’t care about the
mustache (well, I do but not for this) or how nice he was. I guess he wouldn’t
be the worst guy in the Hall, but that’s not really an argument you should be
making to get him in.
Fred McGriff: Check that,
the second dumbest thing will be someone voting Mattingly over McGriff. I love
McGriff. He really got the ball rolling with me and being a Braves fan, but I
wasn’t terribly torn up when the Braves let him go and got Andres Galarraga.
Galarraga was way better … as a Brave anyway, and he beat the shit out of
cancer. Oh this was about McGriff, sorry. No, just not quite enough peak or
total value.
Mark McGwire: I have a semi-hard
time with McGwire, but it has nothing to do with steroids. While his 162 OPS+
is good enough for 12th all-time, he was atrocious defensively and
on the bases, which really hurts his value. That being said, he was one of the
best hitters of all-time, and he can’t be left out of the Hall of Fame.
Jack Morris: His ERA+ was
105. His mother f$%^ing ERA+ was 105. That makes him a pretty good pitcher, but
he was far from being excellent or Hall of Fame-caliber. Chuck Finley had a 115
ERA+. There are over 400 pitchers
with a better ERA+ in their career than Morris. IF HE WAS SUCH A GOOD PITCHER,
HE SHOULD HAVE PITCHED BETTER MORE OFTEN.
Bill Mueller: I remember
Bill Mueller being a Red Sox and being good for a couple years. I know nothing
else about his career. There’s something interesting about that, but I can’t
put my finger on it. That being said, he was a decent player but not even Hall
of Very Good-worthy.
Terry Mulholland: “Terry,
which hat would you like to wear on your plaque?”
Dale Murphy: Even during his
peak years, FanGraphs doesn’t even have him as one of the top 10 most valuable
players. His peak was certainly good, but he was just worthless otherwise. I
really like Murphy, and he holds a special place in my heart. But he’s more of
a Hall of Really Odd and Interesting than Hall of Fame.
Phil Nevin: I used to play wiffle
ball with a neighbor who was a couple years older than me. We would imitate the
teams’ lineups, and he always beat me (he was like 3 years older than me). The
only time I beat him was by imitating the San Diego Padres, and I won the game
on an opposite field, walk-off bomb off the top of the neighbor’s roof. Suck
it.
Rafael Palmeiro: I go
back-and-forth on Palmeiro. He had a few really, really good seasons, but for
the most part, he just played pretty well for a long time. That got him the
3,000 hits and 500 home runs, but all in all, he had a 132 OPS+, good for 127th
all-time. I go back-and-forth and want to dock him for raging on Congress and
then using, but in the end, I wouldn’t really mind him being in. I’ll put a
check next to his name.
Brad Radke: The only thing I
know about Radke is that he made Bill an emotional sissy.
Tim Raines: Funny story, I
didn’t know who Tim Raines was until 4 years ago. Had no idea. Absolutely no
idea. Feel bad about that now that I know how good he was.
Tim Salmon: There’s always
that guy you have to trade for when you play a video game. Tim Salmon was that
guy for a few years. I really have no idea. Last year, I had to get Tyler
Clippard and Ryan Webb, so I guess that tells me that my video game whims have
nothing to do with guys who should make the Hall of Fame. I am actually shocked
by how good Salmon really was, though. .282/.385/.498 for his career, but the
dude was seriously bad in the field.
Lee Smith: Seriously, the
dumbest thing people will do will be to vote for him and not Edgar Martinez. In
what world does it make sense to keep Martinez out because he was a “part-timer”
and vote in a guy who pitched like 70 innings a year? He was a really nice
reliever but no.
Alan Trammel: He was
basically Barry Larkin, just a tad worse. I have no idea, if one has any
intellectual honesty, how one would vote for Larkin and not Trammel. I’m pretty
sure it’s intellectually bankrupt, and it doesn’t make any sense.
Larry Walker: Coors Field
blah blah blah. He was pretty awesome before and after Coors Field, and OPS+,
which takes parks into account, rates him at 140. Add in that he was a terrific
outfielder and baserunner, and he’s a Hall of Famer to me. Yes, Coors Field is
a hitter’s paradise. That does not
mean that everything that happens there is a mirage.
Bernie Williams: Bernie was
the center fielder for the Yankees during my growth as a baseball fan, but I
was always convinced he was a bit player in their runs. I never considered him
a cog. I have no idea why that is, and I know that I was wrong about that. But
I’m always shocked when I see the .297/.381/.477 line. It’s just too bad he
wasn’t even a decent center fielder for most of his career. I think he’s as
comfortably out as Edgar is comfortably in. There’s a case to be made, but
there’s just not a good one.
Tony Womack and Eric Young:
You guys were really fast.
So, we’ve got Bagwell, Larkin, Martinez, McGwire, Palmeiro, Raines,
Trammel, and Walker. I don’t think any of those guys lowers the standard at
all.
6 comments:
I don't know who the favorite son is, but I do know that this was really funny. (Also correct.) ((Except about Tony Womack.))
So I think the four of us have identical ballots except (a) TCM and I both voted for Radke, just because and (b) TCM is dumb and voted for McGriff instead of Walker. But, hey, he still gets 75%.
I think it's called "toeing the company line".
The final line of the Jack Morris section still has me trying (in vain) to stifle laughter. Well done.
Haha. Thanks. Intellectual consistency. That's all I ask. That's all.
Yup. Nailed it.
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