Mother's Little Helper

The Common Man feels not well today. A swelled throat area, combined with a hacking cough, and stuffled nose have conspired to make him feel like crap (though he is not sick, The Common Man does not get sick). At some point, he took some Dayquil, and it's probably time to do that again.

The Common Man realizes that Nyquil would be more effective at relieving his runny nose, aching, sore throat, and cough (or at least would knock him out so he wouldn't have to deal with it). But he can't bring himself to take it. First, to do so would be an admission that he couldn't handle his symptoms like a man. That he couldn't Gary Cooper his way through it. Second, The Common Man really doesn't like to feel the woozies. He doesn't mind feeling the "buzz" of alcohol, but the woozies of drugs give him pause.

He remembers back to his first knee surgery and how the narcotics (Vicadin, if he remembers correctly) made him nauseous and sleepy. The Common Man likes to be awake, and aware of his surroundings. If he ever is attacked by a ninja, The Common Man wants to be ready for it. Even if it means defending himself with a roundhouse kick from his soft cast. Sure, Chuck Norris probably would get here in time to save The Common Man (he is Chuck Norris, after all), but he's awfully busy busting up drug cartels, freeing POWs, and rescuing kittens, and The Common Man really doesn't want to add to his burden. It is hard, after all, to be the manliest man in the land. The least The Common Man can do is take care of his own ninja problems (of which there are many).

Anyway, The Common Man's aversion to pain meds will undoubtedly make the recovery from his upcoming knee surgery interesting. He survived last time on his mom's TLC and 800 mg of Ibuprofin at a time. Something similar is planned for this go around, but The Common Man is a little older and a little wiser than when he was 17. So, the upshot is, while The Common Man will hold off on the Nyquil for now and take his symptoms (but not his illness, The Common Man IS NOT SICK!) like a man, if anyone out there has access to Chuck Norris' itinerary in late September, pencil The Common Man in. You can file it under Man, The Common or simply under Ninjas. Chuck will know what it means.